Sunday, December 25, 2011

Father Dearest

Recently, my dad and I have both been going through challenging times in our lives. It is in these moments that I truly realize how much alike we are and how much I appreciate everything I have gained from him throughout my life. In addition to having the exact same Myers-Briggs personality type, similar strengths and weaknesses, and comparable interests, my dad has also taught me lessons of patience, adaptability, grace, and love that have prepared me for the life I now lead.
One of my favorite earliest Dad memories is the day I got to meet my baby sister. Not only was he dealing with a tired wife and a new baby, but also a sick three year old. The morning I got to meet Carsen, my dad was helping me put on my pretty dress, my tights and shoes, do my hair, and pick out my jewelry. This sounds like a simple task, but if you knew three year old me, you would realize that this was quite a tall order.  My dad put my tights on with the seam perfectly straight across my toes, tied my dress just right, redid my hair probably ten times, and made it through my tiny child anal-retentive insanity. I have continued throughout my life to learn about patience and acceptance from my father.
During my childhood, one of my favorite weekend activities was to accompany my dad and his speech and debate team to their tournaments. There is no doubt that this, along with the innate abilities I inherited from him, led to my later successes on the same debate team. However, before all of that, I was a little girl who only wore “soft pants.” I would have rather died than wear jeans. My dad made the rule when I was seven or eight, that in order to be a part of speech and debate tournaments, I had to wear jeans. It killed me, but it taught me that sometimes to get what you want, it is necessary to be able to adapt.

When I was about eight years old, we had a snow day. While my mom and sister were outside in their snowsuits making snowmen and snow angels, I was stuck inside because my dad said I had to clean my disaster of a room before I could join them. I was devastated. There was no way I was going to get my room cleaned before my family was back inside drinking hot chocolate and uninterested in returning to the cold outside. I could barely see what I was doing I was crying so hard. However, at that moment, my dad came in the room and told me to get my snow clothes on and go outside. He would clean my room for me. I was speechless. This was NOT something my dad did…that day my father taught me about grace.

My dad also gave me a love for reading, a strong yearning for greater knowledge, an appreciation for adventure, the enjoyment of public speaking, and an ambition and persistence to accomplish my most challenging goals. Throughout my twenty-two years of life, my dad has taught me so much and provided me with the tools that have made me who I am and have gotten me to where I am today. He has helped me to open my mind and my heart to the world around me. I owe much of what I am, what I have done, and where I will continue to go in great part to my father. 

Thanks, Daddy, for everything.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Justice

I was in the Puppy Corral at the Humane Society. I promised I would feed and walk her every day. Holding that perfect little yellow lab mutt in my arms, I would have promised anything. So, on September 23, 1995 I came home with my new best friend, Justice. From that moment, my most loyal and accepting friend accompanied me throughout my childhood. 

When we were younger, Justice and I did everything together. We played in the sprinkler, had tea with the Loch Ness Monster, went on treasure hunts, exercised, explored, wrestled, and napped together. Justice was there the first time I was asked out by a boy, and after I rejected him Justice and I freaked out together in nervous, giddy disbelief. Every night she kissed me goodnight, front paws on a step stool, tongue just reaching my face. When it was stormy out, she slept under my bed. She brought me her bowl when she was hungry, fetched the newspaper every morning, talked, and danced.  Most importantly, she always loved her family and her girl.

As we grew older, I ran off to explore my life and took Justice more and more for granted. Throughout middle school, high school, and college, no matter what I did, she never judged or resented me. All she did was love me unconditionally. 

In a few hours I have to say goodbye to my friend and loyal companion. As I set in this moment next to one of my oldest friends, I can’t shake the feeling of imminent doom and the end of days…I guess in some ways it is the end of days as I have known them for nearly my entire remembered life. My friend, my constant, my giver of unrestricted love will not be here anymore. However, for over sixteen years I was her girl and she was my dog. I couldn’t have asked for a greater gift.
















Justice
July 4, 1995-December 21, 2011